Gondor Supreme Court Forces Hobbits to Bow
Court strikes down Aragorn’s executive order
MINAS TIRITH — The Supreme Court of Gondor has struck down an executive order from King Elessar, commonly known as Aragorn, son of Arathorn, that provided bowing forgiveness to hobbits who had recently completed a valiant quest.
“This ruling is disappointing, but not surprising,” said Lammen, son of Nél, a member of Aragorn’s advisory council. “The King knew that these justices would not understand the hardship that these halflings had experienced. To ask them to bow now, after everything they’ve been through, is putting an unreasonable and undue burden upon them. For some activist court to issue rulings rooted solely in reactionary grievances isn’t simply unjust, it’s anti-Gondorian.”
Despite King Elessar’s displeasure with the decision, some citizens of Gondor reported that they agreed with the court’s decision.
“Why should they be exempt from bowing?” said Nadhor, son of Lyg. “I’ve got to bow all the bleeding time. Whenever I see someone who has so much as heard Aragorn’s voice or sniffed Arwen’s perfume, they expect my knee on the ground straight away. They say those hobbits have had a rough go of it. I say, ‘Who hasn’t?’ My father was a nobleman in steward Denethor’s court until he offhandedly complimented Faramir one time. Then our whole family was on the outs. So, yeah, I’ve seen hardships, and I’ve still bowed my fair share. These hobbits should have to bow, too.”
Some scholars warn that the court’s decision sets a precedent that could have unforeseen consequences.
“It might not seem too big of a deal on its own,” said Tom Thistlewool, a scribe who was originally born in Bree. “Surely, making a handful of little folk bend the knee isn’t a crisis on its own. The real trouble starts with the erosion of the crown’s power at the hands of the Supreme Court. Some may say that this is a good thing, and I would never claim that absolute monarchy is without its flaws. Certainly, King Elessar wields tremendous power, and could do great evil with it. The issue here is that the court is not stripping his authority and returning it to those he governs; they are stealing it for themselves. The time may soon come when the men of Rohan, and Dale, and even my fellow Bree-landers swear allegiance not to the King of Gondor, but to its Supreme Court.”
At press time, King Elessar released a vague statement explaining that his administration was exploring other legal methods that could reduce the hobbits’ required bowing by up to twenty-five percent.