I Don't Know, Something About a Famous Work of Irish Literature and Not About Being Hungover

Please don't engage with this post. The notifications seem so loud today

Oh, man. I gotta write something for St. Patrick's Day, right? Holiday posts haven't really done much to increase engagement for me in the past, but this one feels like an obligation. There's just so many Irish stories I could draw from to honor the “heritage” part of the holiday rather than the “drinking” part. Unfortunately, I'm entirely unfamiliar with those stories and also drank way, way too much beer this weekend to write anything coherent.

Obviously, “Ulysses” has been on my to-read list forever, which I don't feel bad about. It’s so long. I just wish I had read anything else from Joyce. I bet I could have come up with a good “Dubliners” headline if I had read it. It's a bunch of short stories, too, so I have no excuse. If I didn't have this splitting headache, I could try to read one of them now and throw something together. Instead, I’m going to down a bottle of ibuprofen and turn the lights off.

There’s a bunch of Irish cinema I could write about, too. Fuck, now I have to admit that I haven't actually seen “The Banshees of Inisherin.” I just had a long, drunk conversation about it last night. I said it was one of my favorite movies. God, why do I lie so much when I'm drunk? Is that, like, a thing? Like, some sort of complex?

I used to listen to The Decemberists a lot, and they had that song, “The Tain.” I think that was about Irish mythology or something. I can't really remember the lyrics right now, even though I was shouting them at the top of my lungs on Saturday night. Was I just yelling nonsense? Why didn't anyone tell me?

Listen, I'm sorry. I could probably try to scrape the bottom of the barrel and write an article about the Leprechaun franchise or something, but honestly, I need a nap. I promise I'll do better next St. Patrick's Day. You can trust me, too, because I've also decided that I'm never drinking again. There's no way I'll change my mind about that.