Neighbors Oppose Proposal to Convert Luigi's Mansion Into Affordable Haunted Housing
Experts say spooky house could provide shelter to dozens of Boos
BOO WOODS — Local residents gathered outside a municipal planning meeting to voice their disapproval of a proposed development project that aims to turn a local mansion into housing for low-income Boos.
“It’s just not right. That mansion is a historic landmark,” said Topher, a local Boo. “It has stood there for decades — if not centuries — entirely unchanged. It simply is the character of this neighborhood. Without the mansion, Boo Woods is just some generic haunted forest. And don’t give me this nonsense about it being too big to be a single-family home, or claim that it was just an illusion to trap Mario and his weird younger brother. I happen to know that a single family was happily living there before those bit-rate plumbers ruined everything. Sure, it was a large family, but that’s beside the point. They were one big family.”
Topher’s neighbor and self-proclaimed progressive, Clarence, professed to have more practical objections to the project.
“I’m sympathetic to those who are having difficulty finding housing, but this isn’t the solution,” said Clarence. “The problem isn’t housing, it’s economic inequality. Even if you divide the mansion into multiple units, do you think those spaces will go to local Boos? No, they’ll be snatched up by outsiders from the Mushroom Kingdom. I’m not saying I don’t trust out-of-towners, but who knows what they’re doing when your back is turned? And I haven’t even gotten to the increased noise pollution from additional mournful wailing and kart traffic. See? These are all reasonable gripes. I’m not some NIMBY. I just don’t understand why these Boos can’t live in Evershade Valley, which has ample housing and is very far from my backyard.”
A representative from the urban planning committee addressed the protesters.
“While I understand the personal feelings some in our community might have about this project, there’s simply no two ways about it,” said George, an eight-year member of the city council. “Boos need to live — if you’ll excuse the term — somewhere. We have a rare opportunity on our hands where an abandoned property became available to us. To do anything besides use it to provide shelter to those in need would be monstrous, indeed. Further regulation and changes to economic policies would be helpful, too, but there’s no more direct way of easing the housing crisis than by literally providing housing.”
At press time, locals had begun collecting signatures for a petition to move the project to The Last Resort Hotel.