Suspicious Man in Knee-Length Coat Says First Pokémon Is Free
Stranger apparently pressed children to give him personally identifiable information
PALLET TOWN — Local authorities are on the lookout for a strange man wearing a long coat who has allegedly been telling children that he will give them a Pokémon for free, sources confirm.
“Witnesses describe the suspect as an old man in a white coat,” said Jenny, a police officer from neighboring Viridian City. “He has been seen lurking near Route 1, waiting to ambush local children as they venture into the tall grass where they’ll be hidden from view. His motivations are currently unclear. It might be an attempt to lure these children away by offering them a cute pet. However, he may be trying to get these children hooked on Pokémon training, which is an expensive and debilitating habit that often destroys lives. I know that no parent wants their child to end up as some kind of weirdo who spends all of their time catching bugs. We need to teach our kids about stranger danger.”
One child’s account of his encounter with the mysterious man has some parents even more concerned.
“He walked up to me and asked me if I was a boy or a girl,” said Joey, a local youngster. “Then he complimented my shorts. He told me a world of dreams and adventures awaited me, as long as I followed him back to my house. He promised to give me my own Pokémon. I almost went with him, but he suddenly got all confused and stopped making sense. He asked me weird questions, like what his grandson’s name was. That’s when I ran away. He didn’t chase me.”
Pallet Town-based researcher and self-proclaimed “Pokémon Professor” Samuel Oak reassured an uneasy public, saying that there was most likely an innocent explanation for the anonymous man’s behavior.
“Perhaps he’s just a man with a dream. A crazy, brazen dream,” said Oak with a deep longing in his eyes. “The kind of dream that an adult could never comprehend. His only option would be to enlist local children to assist him with his mad dream. A dream as mad — and wonderful — as trying to catalog every single Pokémon in the entire world. I’m certain he means these children no harm. Most likely, he just wants to send them out into the world with only a level five Pokémon to defend themselves. A noble mission, indeed.”
At press time, local broadcasters had removed from their schedule a movie about four boys walking on railroad tracks after parents complained that it encouraged children to put themselves in unsafe situations.