Taller Biden in Green Overalls Reaffirms Support for President
"Joe is the only choice for our party," said Luigi Biden
WASHINGTON — A taller version of Joe Biden clad in a green outfit confirmed his support of the president’s candidacy for re-election after a recent crisis meeting, sources confirm.
“I’ve got the president’s back,” said Luigi Biden. “We’re in this to win it. Donald Trump must be defeated, and Joe is the guy to do it. There’s no second option waiting in the wings, here. No extra man, if you will.”
Political analyst Julissa Rose provided context to the greener Biden’s statement.
“He can’t exactly say, ‘I’m the better candidate and I’m ready to go,’” said Rose during an interview on CNN. “We all know that he’s the obvious choice to replace Biden on the ticket. He’s a little bit faster than Joe, jumps a little bit higher, and his fireballs just shoot out straight ahead instead of bouncing. It would be an absolute disaster for the party if he openly announced his desire to replace Joe Biden on the ticket, because voters can see the clear difference between them. For now, he just has to sit back and wait for his turn.”
Democratic strategist Al Hayes disagreed with Rose’s assessment.
“Luigi Biden isn’t presidential material,” said Hayes. “Sure, it’s all there on paper, but everyone knows he’s a coward. He might be a good pick for a cabinet position — kind of a spin-off of the presidency — but he’ll never actually hold the office himself. He is saying this out of sheer loyalty to the president. Luigi Biden knows his place.”
At press time, Luigi Biden added that the president had expressed the desire to spend more time in idle animations. A taller version of Joe Biden clad in a green outfit confirmed his support of the president’s candidacy for re-election after a recent crisis meeting, sources confirm.
“I’ve got the president’s back,” said Luigi Biden. “We’re in this to win it. Donald Trump must be defeated, and Joe is the guy to do it. There’s no second option waiting in the wings, here. No extra man, if you will.”
Political analyst Julissa Rose provided context to the greener Biden’s statement.
“He can’t exactly say, ‘I’m the better candidate and I’m ready to go,’” said Rose during an interview on CNN. “We all know that he’s the obvious choice to replace Biden on the ticket. He’s a little bit faster than Joe, jumps a little bit higher, and his fireballs just shoot out straight ahead instead of bouncing. It would be an absolute disaster for the party if he openly announced his desire to replace Joe Biden on the ticket, because voters can see the clear difference between them. For now, he just has to sit back and wait for his turn.”
Democratic strategist Al Hayes disagreed with Rose’s assessment.
“Luigi Biden isn’t presidential material,” said Hayes. “Sure, it’s all there on paper, but everyone knows he’s a coward. He might be a good pick for a cabinet position — kind of a spin-off of the presidency — but he’ll never actually hold the office himself. He is saying this out of sheer loyalty to the president. Luigi Biden knows his place.”
At press time, Luigi Biden added that the president had expressed the desire to spend more time in idle animations.