Trump Questions Elrond's Elven Heritage

GOP nominee claims Lord of Rivendell chose to be an Elf at the end of the First Age

RIVENDELL — Former President and Republican nominee Donald Trump courted controversy after he questioned the validity of Lord of Rivendell Elrond’s Elven ancestry during a panel at a conference for Quendi journalists.

“Look, we all know how he got this job,” said Trump. “He’s a total DEI hire. I mean, the guy’s never seen the light of the two trees. How does a guy like that get to be in charge of Imladris? I’ve known Elrond for a long time, indirectly. Not directly, very much. And I didn’t know he was an Elf until the dawn of the Second Age when he happened to turn into an Elf and now he wants to be known as an Elf. So I don’t know, is he of the race of Men, or is he an Elf?”

When informed by fact-checkers that Elrond was descended from two separate pairings of Elves and Men, and that the Valar Manwë had allowed him to choose between immortality or the Gift of Men at the end of the First Age, Trump lashed out at the event’s moderators.

“Oh, you nasty, nasty journalists,” he said. “With your horrid facts. So mean to Trump!You rotten, tricksy journalists. We hates them! We hates the journalists!”

At press time, the Middle Earth Association of Quendi Journalists had not invited Elrond to respond.